This morning I found myself scribbling the same goal in my journal that I’ve written dozens of times before: “Start writing that book.” The ink felt familiar on the page, like an old friend who refuses to stop calling even when you screen their calls.
You know that dream, right? The one that keeps showing up uninvited to your mental dinner parties, sitting in the corner while you try to focus on more “practical” things. The one you’ve started and stopped so many times you’ve lost count.
I used to think this pattern meant I wasn’t serious enough, disciplined enough, or maybe that the dream wasn’t “meant to be.” But here’s what years of journaling through starts and stops has taught me: the dreams that won’t die are usually the ones most worth pursuing.
The Archaeology of Abandoned Goals
Last month, I dug through old journal entries and found something fascinating. Every time I abandoned a goal, it wasn’t because I stopped caring about it. It was because life got complicated, I got overwhelmed, or I convinced myself it was selfish to keep pursuing something that felt so personal when everyone else needed me.
But here’s the pattern I noticed: the things I truly cared about always came back. Not the surface-level goals or the things I thought I should want, but the deep calls that felt like they were woven into who I am.
Writing was one of them. Every few months, I’d find myself back at the keyboard, pouring my heart onto the page. Even when I’d convinced myself I wasn’t a “real writer,” even when I felt like a fraud, even when I had no clear plan for what to do with the words once they existed.
Why Some Dreams Deserve Your Persistence
There’s a difference between persistent dreams and stubborn fantasies. Persistent dreams feel like coming home when you return to them. They energize you even when they scare you. They connect to something deeper than achievement or recognition—they connect to who you are at your core.
The dreams worth pursuing are the ones that:
- Make you feel more like yourself when you engage with them
- Keep returning even after periods of neglect
- Feel scary and exciting at the same time
- Connect to how you want to serve or contribute to the world
The Start-Stop Cycle Isn’t Failure—It’s Information
I spent years beating myself up for being “inconsistent.” But what if inconsistency isn’t a character flaw? What if it’s information?
Sometimes we stop because the timing genuinely isn’t right. Sometimes we stop because we’re approaching the dream in a way that doesn’t fit our current life. Sometimes we stop because we need to learn something else first.
The key is learning to distinguish between strategic pauses and fear-based abandonment.
Making Space for Dreams in an Imperfect Life
Here’s what I’ve learned about pursuing persistent dreams while managing real life: you don’t need perfect conditions, but you do need intentional space.
Create minimum viable commitment. Instead of grand plans that require perfect circumstances, ask yourself: what’s the smallest way I can stay connected to this dream right now? Maybe it’s 15 minutes of writing before coffee. Maybe it’s carrying a notebook for random ideas. Maybe it’s joining one community related to your dream.
Track the energy, not just the output. Pay attention to how you feel when you engage with your dream versus when you ignore it. Your emotional response is data about whether this calling is worth your continued attention.
Release the timeline. Your dream doesn’t have to unfold on anyone else’s schedule. Some dreams are meant to be slow burns, developing alongside your life rather than despite it.
The Dreams That Shape Us
Looking back through my journals, I can see how my persistent dreams have shaped me even when I wasn’t actively pursuing them. The desire to write made me a better observer of life. The call to help other women made me more intentional about my relationships and conversations.
Sometimes our dreams aren’t just about the end result—they’re about who we become in the pursuit of them.
Your persistent dreams aren’t evidence that you lack follow-through. They’re evidence that some part of you knows something your logical mind hasn’t caught up to yet. They’re invitations to become more fully yourself.
So the next time a familiar dream comes knocking, maybe don’t send it away so quickly. Maybe ask it what it’s trying to teach you. Maybe give it just a little space to breathe.
Because the dreams that won’t die? They usually won’t die for a reason.
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